Booze, Bumps, Boundaries, Another eventful day on the Island
Ryde 1s vs Bramshaw 1s HCL Division 2B Match Report written by Bailey Loveless.
Bramshaw XII: Charlie Anderson, Joe Coombs, Jack Booth, Tom Arnold * +, Cameron Ridley**, Kaush Patel, Sergio D’Monte, Johhny Murray, Johnny’s 2nd head, Micheal Kingston, Ben Arnold, Bailey Loveless
** – Cameron Ridley 1s league debut 16/8/25
Scorer: Teresa Whitcher
Here we go again back on the ferry, beers in hand, dreams in tatters. First job was swinging by Ventnor Car Park to collect Johnny, who was still standing there seven days later waiting to have his dust-up with their Number 4. No sign of him.
We rocked up late, Tom lost the toss and we were shoved into the field. The pitch looked like it hadn’t seen water since Kaushy had ate a vegetable. The outfield had some Grand Canyon style cracks in. Ginge loved it as he dug deep into the Earth’s core.
Ginge and Joe started well. Ginge snaffled their opener with a caught and bowled, then immediately went down clutching something, hamstring, ankle, dignity, who knows. Serg came on steaming like a bloke who’s been charged £6.50 for a pint of Carling on the ferry and bowled with good rhythm whilst Joe was tighter than a Ryanair baggage allowance, going 0-12 off 7.
Jack and Barnold “The Shuffler” followed. Barnold built the pressure, I joined in by generously donating boundaries, and eventually the Shuffler cast his spells as he got the breakthrough. He even recruited his own son for a family stumping operation, nepotism at its finest. Barnold finished with a majestic 3-21 off 9, leaving Ryde wobbling.
Kaush lobbed a few grenades in, one of which went sky-high to Johnny. Now, Johnny bless him dropped it straight onto his own nose. He now looks like Voldemort’s ugly cousin, or maybe Stitch after a heavy night. Absolute chaos. Still Kaush cleaned up with a couple of wickets, while I finally remembered what the stumps look like and got one too. They ended 180-7, probably 20 below bar but on that deck very competitive.
Teas were excellent. The baguettes a particular highlight. Johnny spent it lying on the sofa like an injured dog at the vet.
Batting wise, Tom reinvented the order because why not. Joe and Charlie opened up, Charlie smacking it everywhere until he got bored on 35. Joe then joined in, crunching a few before tickling one behind as we were 83-2 off 17 overs. Jack chipped in briefly, then on came debutant Cam who lasted one ball, he left it, it hit his pad, umpire finger up faster than you can say “Johnny use your hands”. Post game TA said he reckons the ball was turning too much.
Kaush played his usual square shots, Tom got done by an LBW that hit him somewhere near his pelvis (even at his 5ft 6 stature that is still high), and then Kaush facing a full toss hit the biggest shot of his life… straight to a fielder 10m meters off the rope. Serg came and went as his 30yr old missus needed him, at 147-7 the game was probably in favor of Ryde.
Enter Johnny, face like Voldemort but batting aggressively. Two fours and a six, then predictably went again and picked out the man on the rope. 162-8. I will say Johnny questioned my match report last week “Oh I don’t bat like a dick” alas Johnny that innings has just proved you do.
Last chance saloon Ginge and The Shuffler (Me twitching as last man in 2 weeks in a row). And, would you believe it, they actually batted sensibly. Even ran singles. Ginge found the rope a few times. In the end, a wide and four byes saw us home by 2 wickets with 8 overs left.
21 points in the bag. Sadly Lymington got 24, so our chances of staying up are about as good as Johnny winning a beauty contest.
Kudos to Teresa and the Ryde scorer. See the scorecard here:
Thanks to Ryde who are a great bunch with cracking facilities and we look forward to playing them on tour in September.
After a few Pale ales at theirs we were starving, we went to a lovely pub in Cowes and everyone tucked in to some delightful food. On the ferry on the way back Cam Ridley had not one, not two but 3 Ice creams. A Cornetto, Clippo and a Twister, clearly he was keen to spend all the £30 his mother gave him for the day.
We have a local Forest derby next week as we host Cadnam.
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