A fiery game on the Island

Ventnor 2s vs Bramshaw 1s HCL Division 2B Match Report written by Bailey Loveless.

Bramshaw XI: Jack Booth, Joe Coombs, Tom Arnold * +, Declan Mason, Ollie Vincent, Kaush Patel, Johnny Murray, Dylan Hatton, Jonty Loveless, Michael Kingston, Bailey Loveless

Scorer: Teresa Whitcher

The Bramshaw lads set off bright and early for their glamorous away fixture at Ventnor. The day began in true professional style: 9am beers on the ferry. Captain Tom Arnold (he insists on being called The Captain) tried to restore order with a Churchillian address: “No more beers, lads this is a big game.” Unfortunately, one of the three carloads turned up late to the ground, so there’s a strong chance they’d just stopped for a swift pint… or four.

Ventnor’s ground was “lovely” but even more contoured than Kaush’s physique. Tom won the toss and sent Ventnor in, handing the new ball to Ginge and Joe Coombs. They hit good lines, built pressure, and Joe made the early breakthroughs, nicking off both openers. Ginge bowled well as he wished good luck to my Hampshire D40 side for our Grand final the next day and he did catch a nibble but somehow avoided wickets. The nibble turned into a stare down betwen Ginge and the oppo Batsman, was it sexual? Only they know.

Then came Jack Booth, who thundered in like the caffeinated Bison he is , ripping through the middle order to leave Ventnor reeling at 63-7. Coombs finished with 3-35 off nine, with several catches shelled by mainly Booth. We wre thinking what are we going to do with these 7+ hours after the game as the Treasurer had booked us on such a late ferry.

And then… the plot twist. Ventnor’s skipper (batting 8) and their Aussie overseas (bizarrely batting 9) decided to have a net in the middle. The pair calmly put on an unbeaten 162-run stand, treating mine and Jonty dross how it should be treated. The Aussie reached his ton on the final ball (Well batted, a great knock). Why was he batting at 9? No one knows. Why am I batting at 11? Also no one knows. Ventnor 225-7.

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Coombs and Booth strode out to face the Aussie and an ex-Worcestershire pro. Joe played some delightful drives and even flicked one over the keeper’s head, prompting the ex-pro to chirp him. Booth fell at 37-1. Declan was spotted chatting to his mother-in-law instead of padding up, but eventually wandered out after Coombs’ classy 26. Mason departed after hitting a glorious drive back down the ground for four.

Tom nurdled away, Ollie got caught on the short rope, and in came Kaushy who’d taken slip catches earlier and now swatted anything short into the leg-side boundary. He launched a “bomb” into cow corner but was dismissed for 30 at 149-5. Tom reached a gritty 50 before being absolutely cleaned up by the Aussie for 70.

Then Johnny Murray arrived. Normally a man who bats like a dick, he shocked everyone by playing sensibly. That is, until things took a turn: mid-partnership, one of the Ventnor players offered him out for a fight in the car park. Johnny, to his credit, is still waiting in the car park. The invitation clearly threw him, as the umpire later triggered him after the ball thudded into his thigh pad. For reasons unknown, it went down as caught behind. The umpire apologised after the game, presumably while keeping one eye on the car park in case Johnny came back.

At 205-8, Jonty back in the shed with a duck and me nervously next in, Ginge strode out with Dylan. A dropped catch, five wides, and a silky Dylan cover drive later — Bramshaw crossed the line with two wickets and three overs to spare. Dylan finished 17*; Ginge claimed post-match he was “just keeping it interesting”.

What a win! Beers were consumed at the club Declan describing the commute to the curry house as “dark and wobbly.” Kaushy breaking into an impromptu victory dance. Ferry home. Eyes already on next week’s six-pointer against Ryde.

See the scorcard here:

Bramshaw CC